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"Older Children - Always in Training" 2 Timothy 1:1-7, 3:14-17

#3 of "Raising Kids of Character"

by The Rev. Clancy Nixon

June 1, 2008

Church of the Holy Spirit

Ashburn, Virginia

www.HolySpiritAnglican.org

This is message #3 in my parenting series, "Raising Kids of Character," and

today's title is "Older Children - Always in Training." We are always in training, and so

are our children.

I want to start by asking you a question: When you pray for your children or

grandchildren, what do you pray for? Anyone, speak out. What specific requests do you

have when you pray for your children? ....

Teenagers, you're not praying for your children yet? Will's biology teacher had

some brief advice about summertime for the Randolph Macon Academy graduating class

of 2008 at yesterday's graduation ceremony: "No children, no jail." Bottom line, huh?

Good summertime advice for teenagers. It's the "stupid season" for graduates - when

they do things like jump off bridges into shallow creeks - so don't do anything stupid.

That advice is all well and good, but it isn't exactly setting the bar high. First things first:

no children, no jail.

Ginger and I have prayed many things for our children, but because we believe in

the fall of mankind, one of the things we have prayed is that whenever our children lie,

cheat, or steal, they'd get caught. Will's godmother Aunt Debra, who is here today,

prayed that prayer for her own children... my nephew Robin told me that it worked he

got caught often! You'll have to ask my children privately if it worked on them.... They

assure me that it worked!

Please open your bibles to Paul's second letter to Timothy, chapter two, starting

on page 1178 of your blue pew Bibles. Last week, we've learned that 90% of Christian

teens who are active in their high school youth groups stop going to Christian worship or

small groups by the end of their sophomore year in college, and we lose one third of them

permanently. Making disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19) is an awesome goal, but it

we are not even retaining our own adult children, how can we expect to win the world?

Paul is like a father to Timothy, and so we can learn from him how to parent our older

children, and our sons and daughters in the faith.

When we pray for our children, many of us pray for health, for mature wisdom,

for courage. If you have prayed those things for your children, even adult children, you

are not alone. Paul prayed those things for Timothy constantly, chapter 1 verse 3, because

those were Timothy's weaknesses in chapter 1 verse 4, he "recalled Tim's tears." Paul

knew and loved Timothy like a father knows a son. Paul said of him, "I have no one like

[Timothy]." (Phil.2:22) Most likely, Paul had personally led young Timothy to the Lord,

and he recruited him for mission work during Paul's first visit to Timothy's hometown of

Lystra, in present day Turkey. Timothy either accompanied Paul or was sent out by him

for over fifteen years. This included Paul's second missionary journey and his third, and

it included when Paul sent Timothy as a trusted apostolic delegate to both Thessalonica

and to Corinth (1 Thesss.3:1ff; 1 Cor. 4:17) Paul left Timothy in Ephesus as a proto-

bishop, and Timothy accompanied Paul during his first imprisonment at Rome, where

Paul wrote the epistles to Philemon, to the Philippians and Colossians.

John Stott says that, humanly speaking, Timothy was hopelessly unfit for these

apostolic tasks.1 For starters, he was still comparatively young, and susceptible to the sins

of youth. Paul warned Timothy in this second letter at chapter 2, verse 22, to "flee the

evil desires of youth." Timothy would have been in his early thirties at the time of writing

of this second letter, which in those days was considered still part of "youth." So beloved,

no matter your age - don't be surprised if your elders continue to give you advice. Listen

to it carefully. Those black and white family pictures don't lie: your parents really were

young once, and every once in a while, we remember those temptations. The older we

get, we more we do forget. A happy man in his mid-nineties was asked, "How are you

today?" And he replied, "I'm just great every day above ground is a good one!" Then

he was asked, "How do you live to be 95? He said, "Keep breathing."

Next, Timothy was prone to illness. Paul referred to Timothy's "frequent

ailments" in his first letter. Look at the detail which this great coach Paul advised

Timothy: it went to his specific ailments. Paul said Tim should try drinking wine for a

change to help his stomach. Maybe faithful Timothy was stressed out. Wine isn't good

for a sour stomach; it's good for stress relief! God says to him and to us, lighten up,

Timmy boy! Man O Manichevitz, let's have some wine! Take some time to celebrate.

Sunday morning worship can be a great celebration of God's love.

Third, Timothy was timid by temperament we'd call him a shy introvert. Paul

exhorted him several times to take his share of suffering and not be afraid, since God did

not give us a spirit of cowardice. (2 Tim. 1:7, 8; 2:1,3; 3:12; 4:5) Timothy was young

and weak and shy, and he needed guidance. Though he was a wunderkind bishop in his

early thirties, Timothy was still in training. A graduation speaker said this weekend, "If

you're not learning, you're not living." No matter how weak or immature you may feel

or your children appear, or how inadequate to the task you think you are, God has a plan

for you to use you in your spiritual gifts. Look at chapter one, verse 6: "I remind you to

fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you by the laying on of hands." Even Timothy,

this apostolic legate, this protégé of the greatest theologian ever, needed to be reminded

that he does have a spiritual gift! How much more do we need to be reminded?

My son Will is so blessed this week. What a testimony that so many family and

friends, and three of his four godparents, have come to encourage him in his gifts this

graduation weekend, some travelling great distances. Beloved, follow their example.

Encourage a younger person in his spiritual gifts this week. If you can't visit, write them

a note.

Look at Chapter 3 verse 15: From his infancy, Timothy knew the Old Testament.

He didn't just hear Bible stories read to him; he had memorized passages. Back in chapter

1, verse 5, we learned that Tim's Jewish mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois had

trained him in the things of faith. Doctor Luke implies that Tim's father was a Greek

unbeliever (Acts 16:1). Mothers, this is for you. Be encouraged, if your husbands are

gone, or if it feels like the lights are on but nobody's home with that part of your

husband's brain that controls responsibility for godly fathering; God is faithful, and he

will reward your efforts with your children. Scripture memory works. I remember one

extended family gathering when a cousin who shall remain nameless was bellyaching to

Stott, John, The Message of 2 Timothy, Intervarsity Press, 1973, p. 19.

the whole family about something trivial. Twelve-year old Sam adroitly nipped that one

in the bud by quoting the scripture we had memorized from this letter, Second Timothy

2:22: "Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know

they produce quarrels; And the Lord's servant must not quarrel. Instead, he must be kind

to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." I heard DAT! That was a show stopper. Young

people, if you memorize scripture, you can have the satisfaction of waiting for the right

moment to quote it to your parents! It's fair game, parents. No matter how old we get,

we're still learning.

In chapter 3, verses 1-13, Paul has been warning us both about worldly people,

and about false teachers inside the church. Then in verse 14, Paul speaks directly to

Timothy: "But as for you, continue in what you have learned, because you know those

from whom you learned it..." That opening, "But as for you," shows us that we are

different. Friends, we must continue to teach our children, we are different than the

world! Blending in is not our call.

I picked up a local free tabloid magazine at the gym have you seen it? It's

called Washington Parent magazine. It gave advice on how to relate to your college age

child when she comes home from school for the summer. The basic idea is that she's left

the nest, so it's too late to try to teach her anything. It suggested that you think of your

returning child like a visiting foreign exchange student. She comes from a different

culture now, and so you should just try to learn about their different culture without

comment, except to say, "tell me more," or "fascinating." Earth to Washington Parent

Magazine: can you spell "capitulation?" I wish my family had challenged some of the

boneheaded ideas I came home from college with! I got sucked into a Marxist detour for

seven years, and my family didn't seem to care. Ideas matter; ideology matters;

worldview matters. Your older children are still in training! Don't give up being parents.

We're to be different. God's people are not to take our cues from the world. The

expectations of the world for recent grads may be, "No children no jail," but God's

people are called to higher standards. [hold up hand] Can I get a witness? Look at

Chapter 1, verse 7 God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and

of self-discipline! What an object lesson Randolph Macon Academy was for my son in

the power of high expectations! When called to perform at a much higher level than ever

before, people rise to the level of expectation. Don't sell short your own children to the

seduction of low expectations. No matter how old they get, your children are always

your children, and you are always their parent. Be judicious about it you have to pick

your battles - but don't neglect to correct them when needed.

God has given you a spirit of power and love. You are a huge influence on your

children until the day you die. Let's pray for confidence and wisdom for ourselves and

for our children in what they have learned.

Next week:

How do we train our children so that they look more like Jesus than we do? Look

at verse 16: "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, for rebuking,

correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly

equipped for every good work." This verse is the best warrant for a high view of the

inspiration of Scripture, but that is a sermon for another day. For today, notice with me

that there are four ways that Scripture is to be used to train people for ministry. Two of

these deal with doctrine teaching and correcting; and two deal with behavior training

and rebuking.

First: teaching. Teach the Holy Scriptures, and don't stop teaching. Share what

you are learning with a young adult. There is no substitute for knowing the content of the

faith. It is its own discipline, with its own vocabulary and rules and logic and you have

to take the time to learn it. It's like engineering or the law: if you know