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Parenting #2: "As for Me and My House..." Joshua 24:1-18

by The Rev. Clancy Nixon

May 25, 2008

Church of the Holy Spirit

Ashburn, Virginia

www.HolySpiritAnglican.org

As I've prepared for these messages, I've learned several new things about

bringing up children of godly character. This week I learned that most Christian parents,

in fact 64%, think that they themselves are doing a good job of helping their own

children to develop a Biblical worldview? George Barna said so, so it must be true!1

Even so, only 22% of Christian parents think that other Christian parents are doing a

good job with their children at that same task! Reminds me of Garrison Keillor's Lake

Wobegon, where, he says, "all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and

all the children are above average." The Lake Wobegon effect applies to Christian

parenting since most Christian parents consider their own households to be above

average, but they consider most other parents as below average. Christian parents think

they are succeeding not because they feel adequate to train their kids in the ways of God

instead, 4 in 5 feel inadequate to bring up godly kids. Being Americans, when they feel

inadequate to do something themselves, what do they do?... Who wants to guess? They

find someone else who can do it! They think they are succeeding because they believe

they have identified experts who can train their kids in Christian worldview in this case,

their local church. We do have an awesome Children's Ministry here at CHS, it's true

Jan and Syd and the other teachers are doing just a super job with our children.

Unfortunately, no matter how good a church program is, no church can replace Mom and

Dad in their importance in influencing a child to godly character. Last week, we looked

at Deuteronomy 6, where Yahweh God gives the primary responsibility for raising godly

children to parents - to mom and dad - not to a Sunday School teacher, not to Christian

school, not to the church. There is a very practical reason that God gave this

responsibility to parents. If parents don't train their kids how to pray, how to read the

Bible, how to think Biblically, or how to lead a peer to Christ then most likely, the kids

won't do it, either. It turns out that we're better at assessing other people's children than

we are our own. According to Barna, only 4% of American 13 year olds have a Biblical

worldview, even though 90% consider themselves Christian. Leo Durocher said, "That's

déjà vu all over again."

This is message #2 in my parenting series "Raising Children of Character," and

the title of this message is, "As for Me and My House...." Who knows the other half of

that quote from Joshua 24:15c? ...We Will Serve the Lord." I'd like us to learn this

scripture today, so let's say it out loud together, including the address: "As for Me and

My House, We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15c" This partial verse is a credo, which

is a Latin word meaning "I believe" it's a statement to the world of where you stand

personally. That's where it all starts, parents, in raising kids of character it starts with

you. Last week, I said that you can't give away what you don't have whether that is

money, time, or a Christian worldview.

George Barna, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions, Regal Books, 2003, p. 80

Moses' task in Deuteronomy was to restate the essentials of godly belief and

practice for the generations who would follow, to ensure that his faith would become

their faith that the faith would endure from generation to generation. One generation

later, after the conquest of the greater part of the Promised Land, Moses' successor

Joshua is near his death at age 110, and his task is the same as his mentor in the faith

Moses - to ensure that the generations that come after him also continue to follow the

Lord God. Open your Bibles to Joshua chapter 24, page 231 of your blue pew Bibles.

Joshua knows that the chief inheritance of his people is not so much the Promised Land.

Their chief inheritance is their covenant with Yahweh that is, their relationship with the

God who gave them the land, and everything else that is good. So what does Joshua do to

preserve their inheritance? He calls a sacred assembly to meet at the holy city of

Shechem, to challenge them to renew their Sinai Covenant with the LORD.

Why is Shechem holy? It was set apart by God. On Abraham's journey from his

home in Haran in present-day Iraq, Shechem was the first city Abraham visited, and he

built an altar there (Gen. 12:6); Jacob pastured his sheep there in his youth; Joseph's

mummified body was brought back there for burial by Joshua (23:32); and by Moses'

command, Shechem was to become a Levitical city of refuge in the territory of Manasseh

(Josh. 17:2,7), located about 60 miles north of Jerusalem, near Mt Gezarim.

In verse 1, Joshua gathers all the leaders and tribes, and they present themselves

before God in the holy city of Shechem. This isn't just another Sunday meeting! Joshua

recites for them the history of the mighty deeds of the LORD in bringing Abraham from

Mesopotamia to Canaan, then bringing Abraham's ancestors up out of bondage in Egypt,

and into the Promised Land, and finally giving their enemies into their hands. Joshua 24,

Verse 13 says this: "[God] gave you cities that you did not build, and you eat from

vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant."

Isn't this true of us on this Memorial Day? Here we are, in the richest country in

human history, enjoying the most freedom of any nation on earth, which would not be

possible without the supreme sacrifice of those men and women in our armed forces who

died that we might live. We did not build this great city we live in; we did not plant the

crops that we eat; God gave them to us through the labors of others. Thank you, God, for

those willing to die for us. Thank you that we stand on the shoulders of giants. Thank

you that you sent your son Jesus to die for us.

In verse 15, Joshua challenges the leaders of Israel: "If serving the LORD seems

desirable to you, then choose for yourself this day whom you will serve...." Just as

Joshua's captains had a choice of gods to worship, each one of us adults have a choice

today. Joshua's answer to his own question can be our own: Let's say it together again:

"As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. Joshua 24:15c" "House" here

means household, or family.

Parents, this is for you, but it is particularly for fathers. Dad, you are indeed the

head of your house, and as the head, you need a settled commitment that your household

will serve the Lord. Sociologists tell us that if Dad shows that commitment, in most

cases, your family will follow. This is the power of a father's blessing. Dad, your

children are longing for their father's blessing! They want to know who they are, who

their family worships. While only a mother can give a young child a sense of being, of

unconditional love, only a father can call out a child into his identity as a man or a

woman. This is what it takes to lead your child to Christ. It takes a settled commitment, a

willingness to stand for your God publicly and privately. Later in this chapter, Joshua

successfully convinces his leaders to stand with God publicly, and that is necessary and

good. But you and I know that the rubber meets the road in our private devotion, when no

one else is watching. How do you do it?

As we looked at last week, Deuteronomy 6:7 says this: "Impress [God's

commands] on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk

on the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Okay, what might that look like

in 2008? What do age appropriate family devotions look like? I want to give you some

ideas from my own experience which have worked for me and my house. I don't tell you

these stories because I think I'm any more spiritual, or a better parent than any of you - I

don't - but rather, because my own story is the one I know best.

1. Pray for your children every day at set anchor times. When our children

were smaller, Ginger and I used to go into their rooms every evening to "tuck them in."

My boys loved that time, and they looked forward to it until they were teenagers. Just

before bed, your children are very receptive to talking about their day. We'd lay our

hands on our sons and pray for whatever they were concerned about. We also pray for

them at breakfast, during our family devotions. Here's a prayer method you can use with

anyone. Listen carefully for your children's concerns, their fears, their struggles with

others, and make a mental note of those tension points. Just before you finish your time

with them, pray for them. Then gather up their concerns in prayer, mentioning each of

their areas of concern briefly. So if they skinned a knee that day, pray for healing for that

knee; if they had sharp words with their brother, pray for reconciliation; and if they admit

a sin, encourage them to confess it to God, and declare forgiveness over them. When they

were young, I didn't ask my children if they wanted me to pray; I just prayed. If an older

child were unreceptive to my prayers, what I would do is to wait until they fell asleep,

and then I'd go into their bedroom and pray for them anyway. Parents, and grandparents,

your children and grandchildren cannot stop you from praying for them. It is your

privilege, and it is the greatest service you can give them after giving them your love.

Let's say it again: "As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. Joshua 24:15c"

Serve him with prayer.

2. Have an Age-appropriate Family Devotion every day. While Joshua 24:15

tells us to choose who we will serve, this is addressed not to children, but to parents.

Eventually, each child must decide for himself to serve God; until then, a child is under

the spiritual protection of his parents. Ginger and I didn't ask our children if they wanted

daily family devotions; we just did them, every day. Contrary to the current parenting

culture, we didn't always give our children choices. Often, children are incapable of

making good choices, because they can't see the long-term benefit of much that they

need. That is what parents are for to guide them. Let's say our verse together: As for

me and my house, we will serve the Lord!

Every child loves stories. When our children were very small, we read aloud

Bible stories to them often, every morning and every night. Their favorite was the

Picture Bible, which are simple Bible stories in a bound cartoon format. I read this book

aloud to them many, many times. Both Will and Sam loved this Bible so much that they

themselves read it through many times on their own. CHS gives this Bible to families

when their children are baptized or dedicated here.

At every family devotion time, we'd pray for each other's needs. Boys love

action, so we'd figure out ways to make the devotions active. We did Jericho marches

around our house many times, and prayed that God would bring down spiritual

strongholds. We'd sing and dance and chase as we sang. We'd put on the armor of God,

Ephesians 6, every day, and we'd slay the enemy with his fiery darts. We'd memorize

Bible verses every week using cue cards. We loved the Donut Man tapes, and Wee Sing,

and Psalty. When it got stale, we'd mix it up. We visited the Christian bookstore often

and tried many ways to make it fun. When the boys got older, they loved the book called

Sticky Situations, which asked questions about moral dilemmas that junior high kids face,

and we'd talk about them. For a time, all the boys would stand was a book about modern

Christian martyrs that DC Talk put out. Do what works for your family just do it.

When my sons hit 13, I challenged them to discover with me what it means to be

a man. We read Teknon together, which is an awesome curriculum by Dennis Rainey's

Family Life, and we did many things together suggested by the book, like shoot a gun,

see some movies, and take hikes. Recently, I've been meeting with Sam in the morning

alone every weekday for 20 minutes before breakfast. That is working really well. We're

reading John Eldredge's book Wild at Heart, and we talk about what it means to be a

Christian man. Do a devotion that works; just do it, every day. No one has a greater

spiritual influence on your children's life than you do.

"As for Me and My House, We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15c"