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Deuteronomy 6:1-9 "Pass It On All the Time" #1 in series, "Raising Kids of Character"

by Clancy Nixon

May 18, 2008

Church of the Holy Spirit

Ashburn, Virginia

www.HolySpiritAnglican.org

This message is the first in the series I'm calling "Raising Kids of Character," and

the title of my message today is "Pass It On All the Time." Please say today's title

together with me, that first line there: "Pass It On All the Time."

One evening a while back I was driving home and I got a call on my cell phone

from a very well-respected man of faith who has a position of influence in his business.

He is a pillar in his church, clearly a mature and godly Christian man, who heads what

appears to be a godly family. He was involved in his children's lives he is a great

cheerleader who went to all their games. He was the kind of man who, by all outward

evidence, seemed to have his family life in order. Yet at that moment, his teenage child

presented a major challenge. He told me that he had been encouraged to hear that I had

been leading our family in daily devotions at our breakfast table for many years. With a

sheepish, almost apologetic tone in his voice, he told me that though his children were

teenagers, he had never once led them in a family devotion. He asked for advice on how

to do that. I told him that the most important thing was just to jump in to get it on your

family schedule every morning, to begin with inductive Bible study and see what works

for his family. You read a passage aloud, then ask 4 questions: what does it say; what

does it mean; how does it apply to my life; and what are you going to do about it?

That was a successful moment both for that man and for me. He admitted that he

had a problem his child was rebelling. He acknowledged to me that he had not led his

family in spiritual matters in the home, and instead, had left that job largely to his wife

and to the church. On that day, he took responsibility for his lack of involvement, and

humbly asked for help on how to do that. I still remember the evening he called. I pulled

my car into a parking lot to finish my conversation, and was one hour late getting home

that night, because here was a golden opportunity to make a difference for eternity in one

family's life. As a pastor, I long for such opportunities to equip families, particularly

fathers, in how to lead their families in spiritual things.

Praise God! Would that more parents would admit their ignorance in "training up

their children in the (godly) way they should go." Proverbs 22:6 I wonder why that is.

One problem we face is that many of us were not raised in Christian homes I'm one-

and even if we were, that does not mean that our parents modeled for us how to train up

our children in the way they should go. The man in my opening story grew up in the

church and he loves the Lord, but he never learned how to have a family Bible study or

worship time. We may go to church, but we don't necessarily bring home the know-how

for how to train our children!

I've certainly had my share of failures as well as successes in raising my own

children. I've used rewards that have ended up looking a lot like bribes; I've had to pray

and have discussions with my wife for hours because we could not agree on how to

discipline our children; I've worn out my knees from time to time pleading for wisdom

from above. Parents, while you will make mistakes and sin in your parenting, the most

important thing you can do is to keep on being a parent. When the choice is to be a parent

or be a friend to your child, be a parent every time. Persevere in prayer, persevere in

setting boundaries, persevere in loving your kids. Never give up. Pass it on all the time.

[Raise hand] How many of you here today wish your children had a stronger

faith? ... While it's good that everyone desires that they children have a stronger faith,

the truth is that what we see in our children's faith is a mirror image of our own faith. So

parents: the issue for us today is not so much our children's faith as it is our faith.

According to a national survey of Christian teenagers taken in 1990 called the "Most

Significant Religious Influences Survey,"1 the person who has the most influence on

Christian teenagers is... Mom. And the second most significant religious influence on

Christian teens is... Dad. Can you guess Number three? ... Not peers, but grandparents.

Parents, no matter how excellent your church is, you cannot rely on Sunday school or

youth group to carry the day in passing on your faith to your children. The home must be

the primary place where faith is nurtured. They will do what they see you doing. Our

children are watching us to see if our behavior matches the faith we proclaim. They

know how much more time we spend watching TV or on the computer than we do in

prayer and in focused attention on them. Whether you spend an hour a week or 3 hours a

day focused on them, parents, your children are most influenced by you. Faith isn't just

taught; it's caught. Pass It On All the Time.

Let's admit it this business of dropping the kids off at church and expecting the

"experts" to nurture faith in them just isn't working. "Of kids who are active in high

school youth groups, ninety percent do not go to church by the time they are sophomores

in college. One third will never return."2 Why is this so? What do you think? While the

enticements of worldly freedom in college is a factor, I think a bigger factor is that these

kids' faith was not firmly enough established in their homes. Only 9% of Christian

teenagers have ever experienced regular reading of the Bible and devotions in the home.

It's not the church's fault; the church simply can't do what only the parents can do only

mom and dad can be the primary role models for your kids. The church's job is to come

alongside you, parents, to help you and to equip you to do your job.

Parents, help me out here. Please take out your response card and a pencil or pen.

Would you just jot down for me what you need help with in raising your kids to be kids

of character? If you need to know how to teach your kids to pray, I'll show you. If you

want to know how to do age-appropriate family devotions, I'll show you what has

worked for us. If you need to know how to develop a better relationship with your child

so that you interact daily over faith issues, I'll share what has worked for me. If you need

help in talking with your kids about sex, I'll help you. Just let me know what it is you

need, and I'll address some of those topics in this series. You need to know these things!

Pass It On All the Time.

God communicated this truth 3,400 years ago to Moses. Just before he dies, and

the Israelites march into the Promised Land, Moses gives his farewell address in the book

called Deuteronomy. Moses wants to ensure that the faith in Yahweh God will be passed

along to future generations in the Promised Land, so these are his final instructions.

Please open your Bibles to Deuteronomy Chapter 6, verse 1, found on page 178 of your

Effective Christian Education: A National Study of Protestant Congregations, 1990, Search Institute.

Quoted in Mark Holmen, Faith Begins at Home, Regal Books, 2005.

Dawson McAllister, Finding Hope for Your Home, Shepherd Ministries, 1996

blue pew Bibles. The word "Deuteronomy" means "repetition of the law." This book

restates many of the laws that are set forth in the other 4 books of the Pentateuch. The

message in the title is that we, and our children, need to hear the oracles of God over and

over again, until they become our heartbeat. Chapter 6, verse 2 says these laws are given

"so that you, your children, and their children after them may fear the Lord... and may

enjoy long life....(verse 3) that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly

in the land of milk and honey..." Notice all the benefits that God promises for obedience:

Long life! Things go well! Many children and grandchildren! Not too shabby.

Look at verses 4 and 5: "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love

the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."

This is part of the Schema, which faithful Jews say every day, to this day. It is a positive

way to say the proscriptions of the first two of the Ten Commandments. So, if we are to

avoid worshipping other gods or making an idol, what we are to do positively is to love

Yahweh God. Notice the word here in the Schema that is repeated the most: Your God.

Your heart, your soul, your strength. Moses is addressing parents here, and under the

inspiration of the Holy Spirit, he is saying, your family's success begins with you. Dad

and Mom, it's about your willingness to invite God into your heart, and into your family

time.

At its core, the Old Covenant, just like the New Covenant, is not about duty and

obedience so much as it is about a love relationship with God. Look at verse 6: "These

commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts." In the Bible, the heart

is considered the seat of the will and of our emotions. We are to love God with all we are

and all we have. Some of you might object and say, "Clancy, love cannot be

commanded, but it must be spontaneous! You can't force someone to feel something."

The Righteous Brothers sang, "You've lost that lovin' feelin', and it's gone, gone

gone,...and I can't go on. Whoa-wo-wo wo-o." That song says that feelings of love are

what determine the relationship. I'd say to you, love is a decision, not a feeling. Love is

about acting in ways that bring about the highest good for another. Feelings of love come

after you show devotion and gratitude. Anything less than whole-hearted devotion and

allegiance to Yahweh would lead to shared allegiance, which is impossible in relation to

God. Jesus said, at John 14:21, "He who has my commands and keeps them, he it is who

loves me." That is the greatest commandment. Now Moses tells us how to pass on the

faith.

Look at verses 7-9, where Moses is talking about God's commands: "Impress

them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk on the

road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and

bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your

gates." ... Moses says, "Impress them on your children." To impress something is to

make a permanent mark. Other translations say, "Teach your children diligently."

"Repeat them again and again." "Drill your children." There's an image of making a

mark drill them! Moses is saying, make sure that your faith sticks with your children.

How do you do that? Here it is - Deuteronomy 6:7 is the key: You talk about the faith all

the time to your children. Whether you are at home or are out and about in the world; in

the morning and in the evening; passing on the faith is an all the time thing. I'm not

talking about one-way communication here. It is essential to have dialogue with your kids

about the things of God, and to listen to your children to help them process what you are

teaching them. Also, give your kids visual reminders you don't have to tie a phylactery

to his hair but you can wear a cross and give them one to wear; you can have Christian

art in your home, and framed Scripture in calligraphy.

Your children may well tire of hearing you talk about God every day, when they

could be with their friends; they could be watching TV. Let me ask you this: What is

more important? What kind of legacy do you want to leave your kids?

Please don't misunderstand: I'm not saying that you can't talk about what's for

dinner, or about handicapping the interminable endless presidential campaign.

Yesterday, Sam came home from football camp, and he talked with me for twenty

minutes about how his day went. He spoke of his prospects for the fall at running back

and at cornerback, his time in the forty yard dash, and about the other boys who are

competing for the same position, about how he got along with his coaches. Our

conversation was all about football. But there were spiritual lessons there too - about

persevering, not giving up hope, trying your hardest, and about not deciding ahead of

time who is better or faster than you, just because they were last year. In our house, one

scripture that has been important is Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ

who strengthens me."

It's really all about Christ. He gives us his strength. Parents, your children need

you more than you know. Even when your kids are teenagers, you are still the most

important influence on their lives when it comes to God. Keep on keeping on. Pass it on

all the time. Amen?

Let's pray.